That's right, I have taken a grand total of two walks and I have shinsplints. On Day 1, I went for a walk with a fat dog and two kids. It barely lasted 20 minutes. On Day 2 my walk lasted for 30 minutes maybe and I had trouble walking down stairs for the pain in my knee for the rest of the day. This is the sad evidence of the true nature of my non-existent muscles. And my poor choice of shoes, as my cousin-in-law pointed out via fb.
And on that point, let's talk about the challenges of exercising in a small town in the winter in Colorado. You have two choices 1) get a gym membership and treadmill it up (which, I actually like doing, unlike most legit runners) 2) put on every piece of breathable clothing that you have, including earmuffs, nose muffs and but muffs (don't ask) and hit the snowy trail. If you choose option 2, you won't want to use your good running shoes though, because of the slop you will tread through. Therefore, you will wear your every-now-and-then hiking shoes and you will get shinsplints.
Let's now layer this scenario with the challenge of being a mother. If you wanna exercise, you will have to find something to do with your kids--should they stay or should they go? If you choose option 1, you can deposit your kids in the childcare for a fee. If you choose option 2, which Laurie and I did yesterday, you will add a whole nutha dimension to your experience. Come, walk with us....
1) Nurse your littlest one with precise timing so as to make your walking appointment. 2) Get your littlest one down for a nap so she won't be a burden to your husband while you are gone. 3) Put something with carbs in your mouth. 4) Find your jogging stroller and load it into the car. 5) Put clothes on your bigger child and tell them we are going for a "walk". 6) Pee. 7) Make sure bigger child pees. 8) Call walking friend and tell her you will be 10 minutes late. 8) Put your walking duds on. 9) Get in car and drive to set location. 10) Unload jogging stroller and assemble. 11) Unbuckle bigger child and load her into the stroller. 12) Realize that it is way too cold to have a child outside and forage around for some mittens for that child. 13) Put socks on child's hands to keep her fingers from freezing off. 14) Put a banana in the child's besocked hand to keep her happy on the walk. 15) Walk. 16) Your fingers start freezing because you are walking in the shade with your hands on that jogging stroller. And no mitts or even socks. 17)Your toes develop a bothersome numbness within five minutes. 18) The child begins to complain about being cold and asks to walk. 19) Calm the child by telling her she can walk on the way back. 20) Borrow friend's vest to cover child's little legs. 20) Child drops banana. 21) Try to cram conversation in with friend between child's fussing episodes. 22) Child starts to cry. 23)Child wants to get out of stroller. 24) Child pulls socks off of hands and cries more for cold hands. 25) Child wants to be picked up and carried. 26) Friend pushes empty stroller and you carry the child. 27)You try to think of warm places for child to put her hands. 28) Your child alternates sticking from her hands in your cleavage, your armpits and your pockets, sitting perched on your hips all the while. 29) Child asks to be put down. 30) When you put child down, you notice that child's jacket has pockets and you show child how to use them. 31) Child is delighted about her own personal pockets and you are back to your car. 32)All the while, you and friend have been attempting to carry on a deep conversation and you continue to as you load child into car and disassemble said stroller. 33) Child poops in her pull up. 34)You kiss your friend goodbye and tell her that we should do this more often.
As I reread that last paragraph, I am giving myself a large dose of forgiveness for having neglected myself for so many years. If the average Joe-Religious-Exerciser had to go through all of that just to walk for half an hour, they would never put their spandex on. So, here's to Laurie. Check out her other motherhood adventures at her rocking blog here. Laurie, I am so proud of you and I will jump at any chance to do chaotic, child-inclusive, sub-zero exercise with you any day. As soon as my shinsplints heal.
My walk today lasted 26.32 minutes. With no children, and it was only 25°. Here we go, eh?
Posted by: Lauren Hall | 01/05/2010 at 09:38 PM